My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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