hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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