Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize