You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
