Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize