your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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