Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
