I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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