my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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