DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
