ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
