I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
