Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i dont even know how to be here
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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