YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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