So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
