We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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