She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
