i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
