Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We named our party play list daddy issues
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
