watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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