maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
