You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
