These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
