you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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