life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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