im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
