he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
