you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
