I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
