at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize