You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
