I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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