I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
NoShamevember. You game?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
