Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize