It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
