Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
its liver damage thursday
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
