Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
