Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
