So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize