I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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