if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
