This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
