What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
