I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
