Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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