Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
