so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
