you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
