She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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