If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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