some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
