At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize