oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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