well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
