dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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