I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
