Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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