Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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