Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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