I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
