I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
