How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
COCAINE IS GR8
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
