Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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