and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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