A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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