Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
