Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
