I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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